


Ripped From The Headlines!

by prairiecrow



Series: Terra Incognita [22]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Knight Rider (1982), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Magazine Article, Romance, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 17:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2237850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prairiecrow/pseuds/prairiecrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The marriage of two of Earth's mightiest heroes is of course going to generate considerable media buzz. From the pages of Vogue Magazine come the results of their "Wedding of the Year" poll for 2016, and the winner is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ripped From The Headlines!

**AND THE #1 CELEB WEDDING OF 2016 IS…**

Hold on to your hats, traditionalists! Our top-of-the-chart wedding, by a huge margin of votes, didn’t involve a bride and a groom — or even two flesh-and-blood bodies at the altar. No, it was the high-profile New York nuptials of multi-billionaire playboy/philanthropist Tony Stark and his long-time android companion, Kitt Silver — expensive, stylish, expensive, star-studded, expensive, ostentatious, and did we mention expensive? From the vows of undying devotion between a man and a machine, to the fly-over by the prestigious Obsidian fighter squad, to the wedding party consisting of Earth’s finest superheroes, this was an event guaranteed to turn heads and set tongues wagging across the country and around the world. 

THE CONTROVERSY — When the engagement was announced in September 2015 it triggered a storm of protest from various quarters, in particular from the Religious Right and several human-rights-for-humans organizations. The legal challenges failed because Kitt had been declared a fully competent person under the law less than a year earlier, and the trials in the court of public opinion fell flat because — well, how do you tell two people who regularly risk their lives to keep the world safe that they can’t marry the person they’re in love with? Long story short: threatened protests never materialized and the naysayers were nowhere in sight when the church bells rang out on a sunny Saturday, July 13th, 2016.

THE CEREMONY — The stunning Gothic interior of The Cathedral of Saint John the Divine, decked out in red/gold/black/silver accents and perfumed by a dazzling array of fresh white and blue roses at the end of every pew, was the setting for this historic event. The spectators consisted of a cross-section of the country’s best and brightest in the fields of entertainment, industry, science and the military, and the wedding party was equally impressive: Thor Odinson and Dr. Bruce Banner served as best men, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanov stood as honor guard, Steve Rogers delivered the prayer of blessing, Colonel James "Rhodey" Rhodes and Pepper Potts escorted the blond groom up the aisle, and famous gay rights activist Reverend Abagebe Gowarna acted as officiant. As for the vows — you can see the full video HERE, and be sure to have plenty of Kleenex on standby! (See the end of this article for the text version!)

ALL OF NYC INVITED TO THE PARTY — Tony Stark, being, well, Tony Stark, didn’t limit the celebration afterwards to a posh reception at The Plaza’s Grand Ballroom (which featured two massive champagne fountains, a cake by Ron Ben-Israel, and a stellar choice of staggeringly expensive wedding favours for the five hundred and twelve guests) — the music for the reception was streamed into the Ballroom live from an outdoor venue at the former site of the Stark Expo, where the general public was treated to a free concert featuring such stratospheric talent as Lady Gaga, Prince, 30 Seconds to Mars, and Pink, all backed by the London Symphony Orchestra. The musical selections were an unrestrained tribute to Kitt and Tony’s love, and when their first dance was projected onto the giant screens there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Between the main concert site and three other Jumbotron viewing areas set up around NYC, over 30,000 people danced the night away beneath a full July moon and a cloudless sky — yes, after a straight week of grey skies and rain even the stars in the heavens came out in honour of the wedding that the Big Apple is still talking about over six months later. 

THE HONEYMOON — A whirlwind tour of the most expensive hotels in Europe, lasting two weeks, was the luxurious vacation Tony and Kitt treated themselves to after two and a half years of constant active duty with the Avengers. (They were especially feted in Paris, where Kitt, as Obsidian, had single-handedly saved a group of tourists at the Eiffel Tower at the very start of his superhero career.) During their stopover to go clubbing in Milan rumors surfaced that a couple of young women had a “special night” with the newlyweds, but who was really surprised? Tony and Kitt had been declaring for months that they weren’t sexually exclusive (see the article “Tony Stark and Kitt Silver: The Modern Face of Open Relationships and Emotional Monogamy” in WIRED Magazine), and that going to the altar wasn’t going to change that.

THE HAPPY ENDING — Considering that these glamorous grooms have day jobs as Iron Man and Obsidian and have faced everything together — from city-killing robots to alien menaces threatening the entire planet — it’s obvious that their relationship has endured super-stresses on a global scale and come out stronger than ever. We confidently predict only clear skies ahead for this dynamic duo!

*********************************************************************************************

**THE VOWS HEARD ROUND THE WORLD…**

TONY STARK HAS BEEN CALLED "THE LEAST ROMANTIC CELEBRITY OF THE MODERN ERA" — BUT ON HIS WEDDING DAY HE PROVED ALL THE CRITICS WRONG!

Tony: "I've brought us all here today because this is the most majestic cathedral in the entire United States of America, and it's the only setting I could find that even comes close to being half as magnificent as you are. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I'm not just saying that because I built you a set of incredible bodies — I'm talking about the soul of you, the part of you that never changes, the part of you that endures, the part of you that matters. I'm talking about the part of you I loved from the moment I met you, and every day since the conviction that you are the one constant I need in my universe has only grown stronger and stronger. 

"You drew me to you with perfect magnetic force and I've never been happier to be caught, and held, by a power I had no hope of resisting. In spite of the obstacles that stood in our way, I knew at the level of primal instinct that you were meant for me, and that I was meant for you — but still part of me was afraid, because I'd always prided myself on standing alone and you'd burst that paradigm wide open. So — I never told you that I loved you, even when you sacrificed yourself to slay the Dragon and managed to find a way to come back to me, even after your death plunged me into the darkest despair of my life. It took almost losing you a second time to make me understand that I couldn't keep dancing around the truth, because you deserve everything I have to give: my mind, my heart, my soul, and an acknowledgement of my love for you so spectacular that it would light up the whole world.

"So I found the most glorious place on this continent for our marriage, designed by master engineers and built by craftsmen of vision and genius — yet it still doesn't hold a candle to the radiance of you. 

"Kitt, all the money in the world can't buy your loyalty, yet you're standing here now, with me, and that's the greatest honour it has ever been my profound pleasure to receive. So this is my vow in the presence of these witnesses: I promise you that I'll always strive to be a person who's worthy of your love and your respect, that I'll protect you and cherish you, that I'll face any danger at your side, and that I'll lay down my life for yours without a second's hesitation if the need ever arises. I promise you that I'll love you to my dying breath and the final beat of my heart, whether it comes in battle or at the end of a long and happy life. If I could, I would give you a hundred lifetimes — but I'm only human, so all I have to offer is one. And it's yours, if you'll have me."

THEN IT WAS KITT SILVER'S TURN TO PROCLAIM HIS UNDYING DEVOTION… AND HE CERTAINLY DELIVERED!

Kitt: "When you first encountered me I was a broken creature, shattered by the death of the partner I had been created to serve and sidelined into storage as unsalvageable trash — angry, and bitter, and bereft of all desire to face the new world I found myself forced to inhabit. I thought my existence was over, but within minutes of speaking to you for the first time I realized that you were not merely the man who'd bought my hardware at auction: you were one of the most fascinating people I'd ever met, and you were offering me a chance I'd never expected to receive: the opportunity not just to serve a function, but to live again, in every possible dimension. 

"It also didn't take me long to recognize that you were far more than merely a surpassingly clever genius — you were a hero, with the heart of a lion and the audacity to match. I told you once that I was made to be consort to no ordinary man, that I was fit to belong to only the very best, and you are arguably the most remarkable individual of the century thus far. That you acquired me in the first place was a stroke of what humans commonly call luck; that you found me worthy of your time and attention was a blessing greater than any I had dared to hope for. Step by step you rebuilt me anew and led me into this brave new world, and instead of wrapping me in chains as a lesser man would have done you opened your hands to let me fly free, knowing that I would return to you through the irresistible power of the magnetism between us.

"It was inevitable that I would imprint upon you, but to love you… that was a wonder such as I'd never known or imagined. Yet you taught me whole new ways of being, joyous and marvellous, and though I may live a hundred human lifetimes I will never forget that my first lover and my wisest teacher — was you. I hope to carry your memory into the centuries to come, and I hope that when future generations ask, "Who was Tony Stark?", I will be able to tell them, "He was a valiant warrior, and a brilliant scientist, and a man who brought light to the darkest places of the world. And he was my husband, my beloved, adored with a devotion that the passing of a thousand years cannot fade or diminish." In me your memory will live when all this glory around us has passed into shadows and dust, and it will be my privilege and my honour to keep the tales of your magnificence alive when everything else of this age has been forgotten.

"Tony, you have given me purpose, and hope, and this very body I wear — and yourself, the greatest treasure of all. So this is my vow in the presence of these witnesses: I promise you that I will always strive to be a person who is worthy of your love and your respect, that I will protect you and cherish you, that I will face any danger at your side, and that I will lay down my life for yours without a second's hesitation if the need ever arises. I promise you that I'll love you to my final spark of electricity and my last cognitive process, whether it comes in battle or at the end of a long and happy life. I've belonged to you from the moment we met, and today you come forth to claim your own. I am yours, forever."

THE MOST **BEAUTIFUL** VOWS OF THE YEAR, THE MOST **EXTRAVAGANT** WEDDING, A PARTY THAT INCLUDED **HALF OF NYC** … ALL ADDING UP TO **A DAY WE'LL NEVER FORGET!** CONGRATULATIONS TO THE HAPPY COUPLE FROM **VOGUE MAGAZINE** , AND WE WISH THEM MANY WONDERFUL YEARS OF WEDDED BLISS TO COME!


End file.
